Mind Anarchy

So I accidentally became a fan of a certain violent show on Netflix involving a Californian motorcycle gang with murders, drug money, and lots and lots of mayhem.

I'm usually a fan of the happy-ending story lines that ensure I can enjoy them as well as a good night's sleep, but this gem of a show sneaked up on me and before I knew it, I was hooked. I'm not condoning the values of the series or even recommending (at all) that you gather up your sweet family for a communal viewing. I'm just stating the facts: I went on a watching binge and was knee-deep into season 5 before I even knew what hit me.

And the show become real to me. Oh so real.

I would think about the characters and their families throughout the day. I found myself praying for one of the couples on the show who was struggling in their marriage, and I had to stop myself mid-prayer...because well, these aren't real people for goodness sake. But to me, they were. And their realness started to affect other situations in my world.

First off, I developed an overwhelming desire to get a tattoo. Perhaps a few. Maybe one for the wrist, one on the back of my neck. I wasn't really sure where or what, but I became positive that after seeing these new friends of mine with super cool ink, I needed to join the fun.

I'd also find myself giving real life bikers the quick chin-up gesture of respect, just to say, "hey, brother. I get you. I understand the struggle." After watching their screen versions for so long, I knew we would get along just fine.

In innocent situations like filling up my car with gas, I would start scouting out the area, looking for any potential threats and conspiring on how I would handle such peril, based on the moves I'd witnessed on screen. There was no chance you could sneak up behind me to say hello anymore. I may have very well judo chopped you on the throat. It was just in my blood.

But this isn't the first time the lines between Hollywood and my real world have been blurred. I have a tendency to become emotionally attached to movies and shows, and it takes me days or months to shake off their affects. And for the most part, this is harmless.

But I've noticed that I also tend to mix truth with fiction in my everyday life, and that can become a dangerously slippery slope.

When I drop our girls off at school, I'll see a Mama who may have been blessed with an extra 20 minutes to get herself in a cute outfit that morning and because my leggings and sweatshirt pale in comparison, I'm suddenly convinced that she is prettier, smarter, more organized, and simply a better mom than me altogether.

Or in the midst of a naked toddler streaking down the hallway, a screaming hungry baby, and a six-going-on-sixteen-year-old dramatically explaining to me why boots don't "go" with her outfit that day, I lose my cool, yell, and make at least one of the them cry. So I start believing all those whispers in my head that I'm an awful mom with an awful attitude who has an awful chance of ever changing.

Or I hear of yet another married couple who has found themselves at that piercingly painful point of divorce and I start to think of how long it's been since my mister and I have been able to escape for a romantic date with childless quality time, and my head begins to swarm with all the what-ifs and shoulda coulda woulda's where I've missed the mark. Before I know it, I'm questioning the solidarity of the most significant and powerful earthly relationship God has blessed me with. 

Just like the obsession with my Netflix show, these scenarios are merely false realities I've created and begun to cling to. They're not real. They're not healthy. And they're certainly not helpful.

Logically, I know this.

But Satan does his best work in the quiet parts of our minds, where our insecurities run rampant and our thoughts are so illogical that we often refuse to share them with others. So while our heads can separate the falsities from actuality, our hearts tend to find safety in the vulnerable state of believing untruths.

Maybe you've found yourself at this crossroad, too...when you're standing at the corner of fact and fiction, and your heart is fighting desperately to run towards the truth, but your feet are glued to the sidewalk.

We're told in 2 Corinthians 10:5 that "we demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." I'm convinced that it reads "every pretension" and "every thought" because each idea we allow our minds to linger on has the power to bring either death or life to our mindsets and behavior.  Simply put, we can choose to either listen to the lies of the enemy, or rest in the truth of our Savoir. 

Even though clarity can be simply stated, it's still crazy hard to live it out on a daily basis. As I continue to struggle with clinging to the truth, I've found a few practical hints for recognizing dark lies and trying to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. 

I need to unsubscribe from unhealthy thoughts. Whether I limit how much I browse social media, weed out distracting emails, or ahem...stop binge watching particular shows on Netflix, I have to be intentional about what I'm allowing into my heart.

I need to know His word. I can either gather opinions from news channels, celebrities, and peers, or I can seek wisdom from the one source that will never lead me astray. I have to choose to put down my phone and pick up my Bible.
  
I need to train my heart to sort through emotions before reacting. When I feel beaten up by a feeling or short-coming, that is not gentle conviction from God; that is brutal condemnation from the enemy.

No matter what ninja tricks you use for combating the lies thrown at you daily, just remember that thieves don't break into empty houses. The enemy knows you are well able to change this world for the better, and he will stop at nothing to hold you back. So stand firm. Press on. And remember to choose Truth every single time.

Can I pray with you?

Lord, you know all lies that compete for our hearts' attention. Please help us to see through the deception and recognize Your Truth. Help us to hear Your voice above all others, including our own. Give us the courage to cling to You when we are tempted to gather our wisdom from other sources. And most of all, please remind us that we are Yours. That we are chosen. And that we are oh so loved. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

Visiting Jesus

I've been visiting Jesus a lot lately.

I meet him for coffee in the morning with my bible and devotion for the day. Then I hug Him and mention that I'll try to catch up with Him later.

I meet him on Sundays mornings at church. 

I invite Him to join us for supper when we say the blessings.

But scripture tells us repeatedly that we should pray continuously to him. It's an on-going conversation that involves speaking the deepest truths of our hearts and also zipping our lips and listening. This idea of incessant praying is mentioned in Ephesians, Romans, and Mark. And those are just the references I know from my extensive 3-minute search on www.biblegateway.com this am. I'm positive a bible scholar could offer you many, many more.

But my point is, God must truly want us to enjoy conversation with Him throughout our entire days, because He intentionally tells us so many times throughout His Word. I usually repeat the really important things I want our children to learn...like don't hit people, don't run in parking lots, don't take your diaper off in public. I repeat them so they'll be remembered and because they are oftentimes forgotten. And I have a feeling God reminds us so many times to talk to him because he wants us to remember, and he knows we oftentimes forget.

We talk to ourselves. We text our spouses. We post updates on Facebook. We send emails to coworkers. We call close friends to catch-up and vent. We seek counsel from our parents. It's a constant stream of communication with others in our world.

And then we simply visit with Jesus. Momentarily. Periodically. Briefly. And often only when it's convenient. 

But I want to fall in love with Jesus. I mean really be head over heels in love with my Creator. I want to stop hanging out with him occasionally. I want to talk to Him throughout ever moment of my day. But more importantly, I want to listen to Him. I want to hear his voice above all others, especially my own. Are those your heart desires too?

Lord, let's talk. A lot. Please remind me throughout the day that you're walking with me every step of the way-that you want to be involved in every little detail-that you want to connect my heart to yours in such an intimate way that you're the first one I want to talk to and hear from. Open my eyes to your wisdom so I can look past the foolishness that I cling to in my flesh. Teach me. Change me. Lead me. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

http://lisajobaker.com/2014/01/five-minute-friday-visit/

Love Like That

A particular little human in our home has been prone to temper tantrums during this precious season of her toddler life. These outbursts are fierce, passionate, Oscar-worthy explosions of preschool anger-usually in response to the denial of something this wee one wants. Toys are thrown. "No's" are yelled. And floors are slapped. All in an effort to express how truly disappointed she is with our decision to withhold something from her little hands. 

Well as I stood and stared in a dumb-founded and exhausted state the other day, watching an innocent baby doll soar across the room as loud squeals of defiance were hurled loudly enough to alert the whole neighborhood of our dramatic squabble, I felt God urge me to just pick up this little one and hug her. I certainly knew it was His promoting because my fleshly instinct was to sit that child down and explain to her (with the help of the spanking spoon) how we are expected to behave in this house. But in that moment, the urge to hug her won me over.

So I did. And it's not easy to grab hold of an angry bee when all she wants to do is sting you. 

But I sat down anyway and scooped that buzzing bee right up into my lap, rocked her back and forth, and tried to squeeze all my love into to her anxious little body. I squeezed and squeezed and squeezed as she kicked and screamed and squirmed. But finally, after my muscles were tired and both of our faces were good and covered with tears, I felt that feisty bumble bee ease up and rest in my arms without resistance. 

We rocked. I wiped her face with my sleeve. We rocked some more. I told her I loved her. We rocked some more. And eventually, she stood up and continued playing as if nothing had happened. 

Even as I'm reliving this episode, I'm tempted to doubt my decision to hug instead of punish because that seems to be a more "justified" response to poor behavior. But again, I feel God gently guide my heart to peace as He brings this scripture to mind:

Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8 NLT)

There are certainly times when we need to discipline our children with tough consequences. And there are certainly times when we need to hold each other accountable for poor choices and destructive behavior. But I'm starting to realize that love, in its purest form, means offering it whole-heartedly, especially when its not deserved, and with no expectations of having it returned. 

The world will call that naive. The world will call that illogical. The world will call that weak. But let's call that Jesus. Because that's exactly how He loves us. 

When we're angry and harmful with our stingers out because something doesn't go our way, He loves us.

When we're consumed with getting what we deserve rather than giving what he desires, He loves us.

When we wrestle with whether or not we even believe in Him, He loves us.

He went to the cross, fully aware that we would deny Him, hate Him, and mock Him. But He went anyway. He knew in His heart that we were worth dying for. And above all, He wants us to believe that to our core. 

He wants us to know that He will always be there, cradling us in His lap, wiping our tears as we hit and scream and kick and complain. He'll just keep squeezing and squeezing and squeezing until we finally rest in His arms without resistance.

Pure, true love is not logical. It's not popular. It's not fair. And it's certainly not easy. But pure, true love is what changes hearts. And when we can learn to rest in God's perfect love, we can let down our guards and expectations about the earthy love we feel we deserve. We can stop focusing on our feelings and we can allow God to lead our hearts to love how He loves us-lavishly, infinitely, unconditionally, and unapologetically. 

Before we do anything else, let's just linger here and allow our hearts to believe these truths. Let's not move from where we are in this moment until we are convinced that God believes we are worth it. Let's sit here, soaking in the beautiful, piercing truth that a perfect man loves us so much that He willingly laid down His life for us-and that He would willingly do it all over again. All because He loves us. And oh, how He loves us.

Can I pray with you?

Lord, you know me inside and out. You know all my yuckiness and you love me anyway. You know I have strayed and will stray again-but you love me still. Please help me be so consumed by this truth-so aware of your love right here, right now-that I am filled to the brim with the power of your embrace and your presence. Fill me up with You so I can pour You out to others. Show me people in my life who are craving true love and allow me to offer it freely to them as you so abundantly offer it to me. Thank you, Lord, for meeting me here and loving me like only You can. In Jesus' name we pray-Amen.

As you continue to let these truths seep into your heart, here's a poignant reminder to stir your soul : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCunuL58odQ

Raising a Limitless Generation

I filled our a daughters' sandbox with rocks instead of sand. I read somewhere that certain types of sand could potentially make children sick if they ingested it or inhaled its dust. So I panicked and bought 20 pounds of earthtone gravel pebbles for them to enjoy.

Well, no hours were spent memory-making in our rock box. In fact, no moments were even spent there. Oddly enough, the girls had no desire to sit in a pile of pebbles. Apparently, rock castles aren't nearly as much fun to build as sand castles. Tunnels to China aren't as intriguing to attempt in gravel. And no one really envisions themselves relaxing as they bury their toes...in the rocks. 

Because of a fear of endangering my children that I'd developed from a well-intentioned blog, our rock box just sat in our backyard serving no purpose but to hold the ground in place.

And that got me to thinking. How many experiences and life-exploration opportunities have I closed our children off from simply because I was scared of them getting hurt? 

I'm fearful, so I do everything in my power to keep our children safe. But the mere fact that I think I have the power to keep them safe is wrong. Our daughters are God's children, given to us as the greatest award from heaven (Psalm 127:3). And although it's a knee-jerk reaction we have as parents to protect our children and keep them from harm, it's in those dark, hurtful places that we truly establish our dependency on Jesus through the testing of our faith. Just as we're called to be generous with our resources and finances, when we keep our children in closed, tightly-clinched hands, we are limiting them from abundant blessing. If we hoard our children, we can minimize their faith in their Savior because their dependency is on us, rather than their Heavenly Father. 

Now I'm not suggesting we should allow our children to  run naked through the streets or eat whatever they want or live life unattended by adut supervision. Rules and boundaries are necessary. And by all means, if you feel led to protect your children from something, follow that urge. But for me personally, I'm realizing it's an issue of the heart. It's not about me wanting to protect our children, it's about me struggling to trust that God's plans for them are always better than my own.

We are not called to raise children who play cautiously on the playground. We are called to raise children who boldly and courageously live out the gospel, who take risk for the sake of bringing others to Christ. 

We are not called to raise children who love comfort. We are called to raise children who love The Lord with all their hearts, all their souls, all their strength, and all their mind (Luke 10:17). 

Christ did not die on the cross for us or our children to be safe and cozy. He died for us to be free. And that freedom comes from believing in how He loves us.

We are told in 1 John 4:16-18 that when we trust in God, growing in our understanding of Him and His love for us, our love is perfected because He lives in us and us in Him. And this perfect love is an antidote to fear. Loving our children with the love our Heavenly Father designed for our hearts means releasing them from our restrictive fears so that they, too, can understand His love and provision. 

The best gift we can offer our children (along with real sand for their sandbox) is ourselves, grounded in the confidence and truth of our Savior. We have to deligently anchor our minds in the truth of His Word, while we incessantly submit to His pursuit of our hearts. When we allow God to equip us for parenting, our seemingly mundane routines are actually impacting eternity.

As these truths began messing with my perspective on Motherhood, God led me to a resouce that will forever impact the way I parent because it is forever impacting my relationship with God. 

In his latest book, Limitless Life, Pastor Derwin L. Gray candidly offers his life experiences and  passions to transform us from simply understanding Christian theology to being fully captivated by God's love, mercy, and grace. In short, this book messed with me. In a good way.

Pastor Derwin practically guides us to understand that our true identity must be solely based in Christ, rather than in the suffocating labels we have collected over the years. It will equip you, through God's infinite power, to wholeheartedly embrace the understanding that you are loved unconditionally-regardless of your past, your faults, or your failures. It's imperative that we invest time into building our relationship with Christ so that we can pass down a heritage of unshakable faith to our children. Limitless Life is an unparalleled resource for you to utilize as a foundation or cultivation of your faith in Jesus. It meets your where you are in your walk and challenges you to go deeper. It's not technically a parenting book, but it's certainly book every parent should read. It will empower you to unapologetically lead your children to capture and seal these truths in their own hearts.

As a special treat, and through the generosity of Thomas Nelson, Inc. and Pastor Derwin, I have signed copies of the book to bless two people with! So if you are a parent with a desire to overcome your labels of defeat or you know someone who could benefit from these gospel-based, life-altering truths, simply comment below and two winners will be chosen on Monday, September 9th. (Please be sure to include your full name)

Can I pray with you?

Lord, I pray that you overwhelm us in this moment with your presence. Let us feel your love that has no limits. Open our eyes and hearts to see ourselves as you see us, so we in turn can love others with a bold love that expects nothing in return. Perfect your love in us so that we can fearlessly parent our children and unashamedly lead others to fervently chase after you. Ignite a fire in our hearts and empower us with your wisdom and courage to change the world for your glory. In Jesus' mighty name we pray. Amen.

Worship

It's Friday again, and I've joined hundreds of other women who meet here for an uninhibited five minutes of writing. Today's prompt is Worship.

Go...

In theory, I know that worship is lifelong and an all-day-every-day kind of thing. My posture should be set daily in such a way that I'm glorifying God with everything I do. But in reality, that theory hasn't completely settled in my heart. Because truth be told, day in and day out, I measure my worship by how together and whole I feel. And when I'm at church on Sunday morning and my children are safely settled in the nursery and my husband is beside me and I've had time to pick out a matching, I can't help but raise my hands in worship and praise for that time. It's a neat and tidy moment when I can clearly feel God pounding on my heart and filling the space around me.

But in reality, in my day to day, I rarely have these moment of togetherness. In fact, I just feel messy most of the time.

Sure, I post pictures of how sweet and cute out daughters are in their matching outfits, but little do you know, the youngest is very well wearing a target bag as a diaper under that precious dress because I (once again) forgot the extra diapers.

You may be impressed by the weekly menu plan and shopping list you see posted on my fridge, but you should also know that the same sheet of paper has been up there for a few months. And though I long for an organized, one-time shopping trip, in actuality, I've been to 4 different grocery stores this week, one of which I drove off from without even putting my paid for groceries in the car.

Or maybe you saw me the other day before a job interview, seemingly peaceful and collected, when truthfully, I had just covered my hands in a mud mask that I thought was lotion and had to wipe off the earthy gray goop with my own spit.

But you know what? God loves our messes. He allows our messes. They remind us of how messy and disorderly and chaotic Christ's death on the cross was. There was no togetherness there. No calm, peaceful, neatly-tied-up-with-a-monogrammed-bow moment there. It was yucky. Disgusting. Shameful. And yet, it was the most perfectly beautiful display of love that has ever and will ever occur.

So in the chaos of screaming children and screaming fears in our mind and screaming comparisons to other people's seemingly unmessy worlds, let's choose to press in and listen to God calling. Let's not pressure ourselves to make our worship look or seem a certain way, let's simply offer it. Because when we see mess, He sees masterpiece. When we see chaos, He see growth. When we see failure, he sees endurance. Only His love for us is perfect, so we can offer our "as-is" hearts to Him and know that our praise makes Him smile very time.

Stop.

Small

It's Five Minute Friday again and today's topic is "small." So...here I GO:

When I see the word "small," my gut reaction is to deny any attachment to it. "Small" implies timidity. It evokes a feeling of weakness. Of meekness. Of unattractive humility. A relinquishing of power. A submission to something bigger.

But there can be such beauty in submission. Such beauty in recognizing daily that the Creator of the universe, the Maker of the heavens, holds each of my moments in His hand. And that is not weakness. In fact, it's where I'm learning to find my strength. 

When I'm paying bills and creatively maneuvering money around to make it all work, I can rest. My Heavenly Father is BIG enough to meet our every need, every day, every month, every time. 

When I feel defeated and guilty as the sun sets on another day because I lost my cool and hurled hurtful words at my children again, I can rest in His GRACE because His mercies are new in the morning.

When I'm feeling stir crazy and selfish and eager to find a more "glamorous" use of my talents, I can humbly rest is His WISDOM because He is working all things together for my good and His timing is always perfect.

If I could simply embrace my "smallness," if I could live like I truly believe that His power is made perfect in my weakness, then I could stop running and start resting in His presence. I could stop worrying about my size and focus on my Savior. 

Until we stop chasing personal glory, we will continue to miss the point: abundantly blessed living comes only from dying to ourselves so that we can live largely for our God. 

Lord, help me remember your greatness. Help me embrace the power of your presence. Thank you for loving me despite my tendency to stray from your truth. And thank you for loving me with a love that out-sizes my biggest fears. Please keep me small so that my faith in you continues to grow. In Jesus' name we pray-Amen. 

Lonely in Love

It's Five Minute Friday and the topic is "Lonely!" So here's five minutes of me pouring out what first comes to mind when I read that word....

My heart is heavy for many people today-specifically the lonely in love.

Its taken me years to finally realize that my fulfillment and security come solely from God and not from others. But so many people I know and love are searching for love and acceptance from their relationships, and while they may certainly find temporary comfort in the thrill and excitement of young love, they will never find the peace that surpasses all understanding until they realize that there's only one source of true love.

And it breaks my heart to see so many people wandering. I think it hurts because I've found so many other "worthy" causes to fight for. But the truth is, nothing matters more than Jesus, and as long as there are people out there who don't know him, there will always be a need to share Him.

Lord, I pray that you will open my eyes and heart to see like you. Mess up my schedule and interrupt my to-do list when I'm focusing on worldly things. Give me restraint to only speak words that bring life to others and pour purpose into my daily pursuits. Counsel me, instruct me, keep your eye upon me-guide my steps so that they have an eternal impact. In Jesus' name we pray-Amen.

To find out more about Five Minute Friday and to participate yourself, visit Lisa-Jo Baker's Blog-I promise it will fill you up and encourage you!