Mind Anarchy

So I accidentally became a fan of a certain violent show on Netflix involving a Californian motorcycle gang with murders, drug money, and lots and lots of mayhem.

I'm usually a fan of the happy-ending story lines that ensure I can enjoy them as well as a good night's sleep, but this gem of a show sneaked up on me and before I knew it, I was hooked. I'm not condoning the values of the series or even recommending (at all) that you gather up your sweet family for a communal viewing. I'm just stating the facts: I went on a watching binge and was knee-deep into season 5 before I even knew what hit me.

And the show become real to me. Oh so real.

I would think about the characters and their families throughout the day. I found myself praying for one of the couples on the show who was struggling in their marriage, and I had to stop myself mid-prayer...because well, these aren't real people for goodness sake. But to me, they were. And their realness started to affect other situations in my world.

First off, I developed an overwhelming desire to get a tattoo. Perhaps a few. Maybe one for the wrist, one on the back of my neck. I wasn't really sure where or what, but I became positive that after seeing these new friends of mine with super cool ink, I needed to join the fun.

I'd also find myself giving real life bikers the quick chin-up gesture of respect, just to say, "hey, brother. I get you. I understand the struggle." After watching their screen versions for so long, I knew we would get along just fine.

In innocent situations like filling up my car with gas, I would start scouting out the area, looking for any potential threats and conspiring on how I would handle such peril, based on the moves I'd witnessed on screen. There was no chance you could sneak up behind me to say hello anymore. I may have very well judo chopped you on the throat. It was just in my blood.

But this isn't the first time the lines between Hollywood and my real world have been blurred. I have a tendency to become emotionally attached to movies and shows, and it takes me days or months to shake off their affects. And for the most part, this is harmless.

But I've noticed that I also tend to mix truth with fiction in my everyday life, and that can become a dangerously slippery slope.

When I drop our girls off at school, I'll see a Mama who may have been blessed with an extra 20 minutes to get herself in a cute outfit that morning and because my leggings and sweatshirt pale in comparison, I'm suddenly convinced that she is prettier, smarter, more organized, and simply a better mom than me altogether.

Or in the midst of a naked toddler streaking down the hallway, a screaming hungry baby, and a six-going-on-sixteen-year-old dramatically explaining to me why boots don't "go" with her outfit that day, I lose my cool, yell, and make at least one of the them cry. So I start believing all those whispers in my head that I'm an awful mom with an awful attitude who has an awful chance of ever changing.

Or I hear of yet another married couple who has found themselves at that piercingly painful point of divorce and I start to think of how long it's been since my mister and I have been able to escape for a romantic date with childless quality time, and my head begins to swarm with all the what-ifs and shoulda coulda woulda's where I've missed the mark. Before I know it, I'm questioning the solidarity of the most significant and powerful earthly relationship God has blessed me with. 

Just like the obsession with my Netflix show, these scenarios are merely false realities I've created and begun to cling to. They're not real. They're not healthy. And they're certainly not helpful.

Logically, I know this.

But Satan does his best work in the quiet parts of our minds, where our insecurities run rampant and our thoughts are so illogical that we often refuse to share them with others. So while our heads can separate the falsities from actuality, our hearts tend to find safety in the vulnerable state of believing untruths.

Maybe you've found yourself at this crossroad, too...when you're standing at the corner of fact and fiction, and your heart is fighting desperately to run towards the truth, but your feet are glued to the sidewalk.

We're told in 2 Corinthians 10:5 that "we demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." I'm convinced that it reads "every pretension" and "every thought" because each idea we allow our minds to linger on has the power to bring either death or life to our mindsets and behavior.  Simply put, we can choose to either listen to the lies of the enemy, or rest in the truth of our Savoir. 

Even though clarity can be simply stated, it's still crazy hard to live it out on a daily basis. As I continue to struggle with clinging to the truth, I've found a few practical hints for recognizing dark lies and trying to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. 

I need to unsubscribe from unhealthy thoughts. Whether I limit how much I browse social media, weed out distracting emails, or ahem...stop binge watching particular shows on Netflix, I have to be intentional about what I'm allowing into my heart.

I need to know His word. I can either gather opinions from news channels, celebrities, and peers, or I can seek wisdom from the one source that will never lead me astray. I have to choose to put down my phone and pick up my Bible.
  
I need to train my heart to sort through emotions before reacting. When I feel beaten up by a feeling or short-coming, that is not gentle conviction from God; that is brutal condemnation from the enemy.

No matter what ninja tricks you use for combating the lies thrown at you daily, just remember that thieves don't break into empty houses. The enemy knows you are well able to change this world for the better, and he will stop at nothing to hold you back. So stand firm. Press on. And remember to choose Truth every single time.

Can I pray with you?

Lord, you know all lies that compete for our hearts' attention. Please help us to see through the deception and recognize Your Truth. Help us to hear Your voice above all others, including our own. Give us the courage to cling to You when we are tempted to gather our wisdom from other sources. And most of all, please remind us that we are Yours. That we are chosen. And that we are oh so loved. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.