Love Like That

A particular little human in our home has been prone to temper tantrums during this precious season of her toddler life. These outbursts are fierce, passionate, Oscar-worthy explosions of preschool anger-usually in response to the denial of something this wee one wants. Toys are thrown. "No's" are yelled. And floors are slapped. All in an effort to express how truly disappointed she is with our decision to withhold something from her little hands. 

Well as I stood and stared in a dumb-founded and exhausted state the other day, watching an innocent baby doll soar across the room as loud squeals of defiance were hurled loudly enough to alert the whole neighborhood of our dramatic squabble, I felt God urge me to just pick up this little one and hug her. I certainly knew it was His promoting because my fleshly instinct was to sit that child down and explain to her (with the help of the spanking spoon) how we are expected to behave in this house. But in that moment, the urge to hug her won me over.

So I did. And it's not easy to grab hold of an angry bee when all she wants to do is sting you. 

But I sat down anyway and scooped that buzzing bee right up into my lap, rocked her back and forth, and tried to squeeze all my love into to her anxious little body. I squeezed and squeezed and squeezed as she kicked and screamed and squirmed. But finally, after my muscles were tired and both of our faces were good and covered with tears, I felt that feisty bumble bee ease up and rest in my arms without resistance. 

We rocked. I wiped her face with my sleeve. We rocked some more. I told her I loved her. We rocked some more. And eventually, she stood up and continued playing as if nothing had happened. 

Even as I'm reliving this episode, I'm tempted to doubt my decision to hug instead of punish because that seems to be a more "justified" response to poor behavior. But again, I feel God gently guide my heart to peace as He brings this scripture to mind:

Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8 NLT)

There are certainly times when we need to discipline our children with tough consequences. And there are certainly times when we need to hold each other accountable for poor choices and destructive behavior. But I'm starting to realize that love, in its purest form, means offering it whole-heartedly, especially when its not deserved, and with no expectations of having it returned. 

The world will call that naive. The world will call that illogical. The world will call that weak. But let's call that Jesus. Because that's exactly how He loves us. 

When we're angry and harmful with our stingers out because something doesn't go our way, He loves us.

When we're consumed with getting what we deserve rather than giving what he desires, He loves us.

When we wrestle with whether or not we even believe in Him, He loves us.

He went to the cross, fully aware that we would deny Him, hate Him, and mock Him. But He went anyway. He knew in His heart that we were worth dying for. And above all, He wants us to believe that to our core. 

He wants us to know that He will always be there, cradling us in His lap, wiping our tears as we hit and scream and kick and complain. He'll just keep squeezing and squeezing and squeezing until we finally rest in His arms without resistance.

Pure, true love is not logical. It's not popular. It's not fair. And it's certainly not easy. But pure, true love is what changes hearts. And when we can learn to rest in God's perfect love, we can let down our guards and expectations about the earthy love we feel we deserve. We can stop focusing on our feelings and we can allow God to lead our hearts to love how He loves us-lavishly, infinitely, unconditionally, and unapologetically. 

Before we do anything else, let's just linger here and allow our hearts to believe these truths. Let's not move from where we are in this moment until we are convinced that God believes we are worth it. Let's sit here, soaking in the beautiful, piercing truth that a perfect man loves us so much that He willingly laid down His life for us-and that He would willingly do it all over again. All because He loves us. And oh, how He loves us.

Can I pray with you?

Lord, you know me inside and out. You know all my yuckiness and you love me anyway. You know I have strayed and will stray again-but you love me still. Please help me be so consumed by this truth-so aware of your love right here, right now-that I am filled to the brim with the power of your embrace and your presence. Fill me up with You so I can pour You out to others. Show me people in my life who are craving true love and allow me to offer it freely to them as you so abundantly offer it to me. Thank you, Lord, for meeting me here and loving me like only You can. In Jesus' name we pray-Amen.

As you continue to let these truths seep into your heart, here's a poignant reminder to stir your soul : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCunuL58odQ

Raising a Limitless Generation

I filled our a daughters' sandbox with rocks instead of sand. I read somewhere that certain types of sand could potentially make children sick if they ingested it or inhaled its dust. So I panicked and bought 20 pounds of earthtone gravel pebbles for them to enjoy.

Well, no hours were spent memory-making in our rock box. In fact, no moments were even spent there. Oddly enough, the girls had no desire to sit in a pile of pebbles. Apparently, rock castles aren't nearly as much fun to build as sand castles. Tunnels to China aren't as intriguing to attempt in gravel. And no one really envisions themselves relaxing as they bury their toes...in the rocks. 

Because of a fear of endangering my children that I'd developed from a well-intentioned blog, our rock box just sat in our backyard serving no purpose but to hold the ground in place.

And that got me to thinking. How many experiences and life-exploration opportunities have I closed our children off from simply because I was scared of them getting hurt? 

I'm fearful, so I do everything in my power to keep our children safe. But the mere fact that I think I have the power to keep them safe is wrong. Our daughters are God's children, given to us as the greatest award from heaven (Psalm 127:3). And although it's a knee-jerk reaction we have as parents to protect our children and keep them from harm, it's in those dark, hurtful places that we truly establish our dependency on Jesus through the testing of our faith. Just as we're called to be generous with our resources and finances, when we keep our children in closed, tightly-clinched hands, we are limiting them from abundant blessing. If we hoard our children, we can minimize their faith in their Savior because their dependency is on us, rather than their Heavenly Father. 

Now I'm not suggesting we should allow our children to  run naked through the streets or eat whatever they want or live life unattended by adut supervision. Rules and boundaries are necessary. And by all means, if you feel led to protect your children from something, follow that urge. But for me personally, I'm realizing it's an issue of the heart. It's not about me wanting to protect our children, it's about me struggling to trust that God's plans for them are always better than my own.

We are not called to raise children who play cautiously on the playground. We are called to raise children who boldly and courageously live out the gospel, who take risk for the sake of bringing others to Christ. 

We are not called to raise children who love comfort. We are called to raise children who love The Lord with all their hearts, all their souls, all their strength, and all their mind (Luke 10:17). 

Christ did not die on the cross for us or our children to be safe and cozy. He died for us to be free. And that freedom comes from believing in how He loves us.

We are told in 1 John 4:16-18 that when we trust in God, growing in our understanding of Him and His love for us, our love is perfected because He lives in us and us in Him. And this perfect love is an antidote to fear. Loving our children with the love our Heavenly Father designed for our hearts means releasing them from our restrictive fears so that they, too, can understand His love and provision. 

The best gift we can offer our children (along with real sand for their sandbox) is ourselves, grounded in the confidence and truth of our Savior. We have to deligently anchor our minds in the truth of His Word, while we incessantly submit to His pursuit of our hearts. When we allow God to equip us for parenting, our seemingly mundane routines are actually impacting eternity.

As these truths began messing with my perspective on Motherhood, God led me to a resouce that will forever impact the way I parent because it is forever impacting my relationship with God. 

In his latest book, Limitless Life, Pastor Derwin L. Gray candidly offers his life experiences and  passions to transform us from simply understanding Christian theology to being fully captivated by God's love, mercy, and grace. In short, this book messed with me. In a good way.

Pastor Derwin practically guides us to understand that our true identity must be solely based in Christ, rather than in the suffocating labels we have collected over the years. It will equip you, through God's infinite power, to wholeheartedly embrace the understanding that you are loved unconditionally-regardless of your past, your faults, or your failures. It's imperative that we invest time into building our relationship with Christ so that we can pass down a heritage of unshakable faith to our children. Limitless Life is an unparalleled resource for you to utilize as a foundation or cultivation of your faith in Jesus. It meets your where you are in your walk and challenges you to go deeper. It's not technically a parenting book, but it's certainly book every parent should read. It will empower you to unapologetically lead your children to capture and seal these truths in their own hearts.

As a special treat, and through the generosity of Thomas Nelson, Inc. and Pastor Derwin, I have signed copies of the book to bless two people with! So if you are a parent with a desire to overcome your labels of defeat or you know someone who could benefit from these gospel-based, life-altering truths, simply comment below and two winners will be chosen on Monday, September 9th. (Please be sure to include your full name)

Can I pray with you?

Lord, I pray that you overwhelm us in this moment with your presence. Let us feel your love that has no limits. Open our eyes and hearts to see ourselves as you see us, so we in turn can love others with a bold love that expects nothing in return. Perfect your love in us so that we can fearlessly parent our children and unashamedly lead others to fervently chase after you. Ignite a fire in our hearts and empower us with your wisdom and courage to change the world for your glory. In Jesus' mighty name we pray. Amen.

Worship

It's Friday again, and I've joined hundreds of other women who meet here for an uninhibited five minutes of writing. Today's prompt is Worship.

Go...

In theory, I know that worship is lifelong and an all-day-every-day kind of thing. My posture should be set daily in such a way that I'm glorifying God with everything I do. But in reality, that theory hasn't completely settled in my heart. Because truth be told, day in and day out, I measure my worship by how together and whole I feel. And when I'm at church on Sunday morning and my children are safely settled in the nursery and my husband is beside me and I've had time to pick out a matching, I can't help but raise my hands in worship and praise for that time. It's a neat and tidy moment when I can clearly feel God pounding on my heart and filling the space around me.

But in reality, in my day to day, I rarely have these moment of togetherness. In fact, I just feel messy most of the time.

Sure, I post pictures of how sweet and cute out daughters are in their matching outfits, but little do you know, the youngest is very well wearing a target bag as a diaper under that precious dress because I (once again) forgot the extra diapers.

You may be impressed by the weekly menu plan and shopping list you see posted on my fridge, but you should also know that the same sheet of paper has been up there for a few months. And though I long for an organized, one-time shopping trip, in actuality, I've been to 4 different grocery stores this week, one of which I drove off from without even putting my paid for groceries in the car.

Or maybe you saw me the other day before a job interview, seemingly peaceful and collected, when truthfully, I had just covered my hands in a mud mask that I thought was lotion and had to wipe off the earthy gray goop with my own spit.

But you know what? God loves our messes. He allows our messes. They remind us of how messy and disorderly and chaotic Christ's death on the cross was. There was no togetherness there. No calm, peaceful, neatly-tied-up-with-a-monogrammed-bow moment there. It was yucky. Disgusting. Shameful. And yet, it was the most perfectly beautiful display of love that has ever and will ever occur.

So in the chaos of screaming children and screaming fears in our mind and screaming comparisons to other people's seemingly unmessy worlds, let's choose to press in and listen to God calling. Let's not pressure ourselves to make our worship look or seem a certain way, let's simply offer it. Because when we see mess, He sees masterpiece. When we see chaos, He see growth. When we see failure, he sees endurance. Only His love for us is perfect, so we can offer our "as-is" hearts to Him and know that our praise makes Him smile very time.

Stop.

Small

It's Five Minute Friday again and today's topic is "small." So...here I GO:

When I see the word "small," my gut reaction is to deny any attachment to it. "Small" implies timidity. It evokes a feeling of weakness. Of meekness. Of unattractive humility. A relinquishing of power. A submission to something bigger.

But there can be such beauty in submission. Such beauty in recognizing daily that the Creator of the universe, the Maker of the heavens, holds each of my moments in His hand. And that is not weakness. In fact, it's where I'm learning to find my strength. 

When I'm paying bills and creatively maneuvering money around to make it all work, I can rest. My Heavenly Father is BIG enough to meet our every need, every day, every month, every time. 

When I feel defeated and guilty as the sun sets on another day because I lost my cool and hurled hurtful words at my children again, I can rest in His GRACE because His mercies are new in the morning.

When I'm feeling stir crazy and selfish and eager to find a more "glamorous" use of my talents, I can humbly rest is His WISDOM because He is working all things together for my good and His timing is always perfect.

If I could simply embrace my "smallness," if I could live like I truly believe that His power is made perfect in my weakness, then I could stop running and start resting in His presence. I could stop worrying about my size and focus on my Savior. 

Until we stop chasing personal glory, we will continue to miss the point: abundantly blessed living comes only from dying to ourselves so that we can live largely for our God. 

Lord, help me remember your greatness. Help me embrace the power of your presence. Thank you for loving me despite my tendency to stray from your truth. And thank you for loving me with a love that out-sizes my biggest fears. Please keep me small so that my faith in you continues to grow. In Jesus' name we pray-Amen. 

Lonely in Love

It's Five Minute Friday and the topic is "Lonely!" So here's five minutes of me pouring out what first comes to mind when I read that word....

My heart is heavy for many people today-specifically the lonely in love.

Its taken me years to finally realize that my fulfillment and security come solely from God and not from others. But so many people I know and love are searching for love and acceptance from their relationships, and while they may certainly find temporary comfort in the thrill and excitement of young love, they will never find the peace that surpasses all understanding until they realize that there's only one source of true love.

And it breaks my heart to see so many people wandering. I think it hurts because I've found so many other "worthy" causes to fight for. But the truth is, nothing matters more than Jesus, and as long as there are people out there who don't know him, there will always be a need to share Him.

Lord, I pray that you will open my eyes and heart to see like you. Mess up my schedule and interrupt my to-do list when I'm focusing on worldly things. Give me restraint to only speak words that bring life to others and pour purpose into my daily pursuits. Counsel me, instruct me, keep your eye upon me-guide my steps so that they have an eternal impact. In Jesus' name we pray-Amen.

To find out more about Five Minute Friday and to participate yourself, visit Lisa-Jo Baker's Blog-I promise it will fill you up and encourage you!

Princess Imperfect

I’m a Tomboy at heart. The bottoms of my feet are stained with what my husband affectionately calls “perma-dirt.” I grew up playing cops and robbers with my neighbors and running around with my shirt off because, well, my brothers were able to enjoy the coolness of one less article of clothing so why couldn’t I? As an eight year old, my dad found me in the bathroom standing over the toilet to...uh, use it like a boy. My summers were spent rappelling off cliffs, exploring snake-infested creeks, and frog-gigging at night. In college, I thought Kate Spade was a really popular girl on campus because all the friends I met seemed to think she was really cool. 

I’m just naturally more comfortable being rough around the edges than refined and polished because I grew up with rambunctious brothers. My neighbors were boys, I babysat boys, and many of my closest friends were boys. In most girly-girl areas, I’m rather clueless. So when we learned we were expecting our first daughter, fear just shot through my body. I was over-the-moon-giddy about being a mother, but downright terrified about raising a girl. And as is true with most things that frighten us, I tried to control the situation and ensure that we indeed raised a precious little Tomboy instead of a miniature damsel in distress.

I launched an all-out assault on the word “princess.” No one could use that tainted word when speaking about our sweet baby. In fact, that title was fearfully outlawed for all clothing, room décor, and toys. 

“We will NOT have a princess,” I thought. “I will not stand by while the world tries to mold our daughter into some tutu-wearing, Disney-loving diva who prefers tea parties to tee-ball!”

Well, this week, as I sat in a pink-infested bedroom, watching our beautiful first-born twirl in her sparkly purple princess dress, asking me in the same breath if we could paint our toe nails and marry her Jessie and Woody dolls again; I couldn’t help but chuckle. God so knew I needed a princess. He wanted that for me so that I could whole-heartedly understand what it’s like to loved by The King.

Because God created my inmost being and knit me together in my mother’s womb, He knew I would long to be lavished with an unfailing love (Psalm 139:13). It’s an innate craving in each of us-to experience the safety and comfort of truly unconditional love. It’s such a powerful desire of our hearts that we search desperately to satisfy that need. We turn to relationships to fill us up. We seek careers that boost our ego and financial status. We indulge in decadent desserts to soothe our souls. We over-commit to responsibilities to fill the voids we create by running from our true identity. We are so driven by this desire to attain perfect love that we cover ourselves in every other possible label except the ones our Heavenly Father provided us before creation.

We call ourselves Soccer Moms. Conservatives. Liberals. Go-getters. Extreme Couponers. Free-thinkers. Church-goers. Atheists. But the truth is, these self-adhesive labels reveal our attachment to doing and they provide us a self-sheltering category to which we can belong. When we wrap ourselves up in these labels, our value is attached to our accomplishments and our identity becomes joined with our performance. The more we make efforts to attain love and worth, the more we bury ourselves in a works-based pursuit of God’s affection, distancing ourselves from the earth-shattering purity and freedom of His unconditional love.

I wanted so desperately to outrun the label of “Princess” for my daughters because in my safe place of comfort, as a rough-around-the-edges-kinda-girl, I did not have to admit that I never saw myself as deserving of a royal love. I did not have to confess that what made me most insecure about the thought of being noble was the inevitable exposures of my disastrous imperfections. I’d convinced myself that true love required perfection, and since I was lightyears from planet perfect, I could satisfy myself with conditional love because it was familiar. But oh how backwards this mentality is! 

God’s power is made perfect in our weakness, so our frailties are not intended to provide places of comfort and complacency; they are present so we can recognize that our completeness and our wholeness rest solely in His hands (2 Corinthians 12:9). 

We can brand ourselves however we want, but until we surrender to the names we are given by our Heavenly Father, we will be running from the joyful abundance He wants us to experience. 

You are Chosen. You are a child of God. You are a friend of Jesus. You are justified. Forgiven. Redeemed. Free. Accepted. Blameless. Holy. Royal. Take a moment and let those labels soak into your heart. Let them resonate in your soul. That’s who you are.  

Friends, our Father doesn’t want us to wrestle with labels or identities. He wants us to stop running from Him, to be embraced by the pursuit of His revolutionary love. He’s given us such powerful names because He created us to be so taken with His unconditional love that we can’t help but share it with others. And since each of us is created in His own image, when we cover His descriptions with our selfhood, we can’t reflect His character because we’re concealing it with our own. But if we can allow ourselves to be completely filled with His all-consuming love, then we become evidence of Him by pouring out His love to others. It’s no longer about us and our imperfections, but about His will, His plan, His glory. 

I’m still adjusting to my acceptance of being a “Princess,” and God certainly understands that. He gives me many moments throughout the week to affirm that I’m His daughter by having our inquisitive three year old ask, “Mommy, are you a princess, too?”  And as I cup her precious little cheeks in my hands and look her in the eyes, God gives me complete confidence even in my discomfort to say, “Yes, sweet girl. I am a princess. My Prince came to rescue me long ago- and His name is Jesus.”

Is there a label that you're clinging to for stability and affection? Is there a source from which you continually seek satisfaction only to be perpetually left unfulfilled? Are you striving for perfection or demanding it from others because that’s all you know to do? That empty feeling of defeat that’s chasing you is not from God. He is stability. He’s the source of affection. He provides our contentment and never demands our perfection. Let Him love you. Let Hill fill you up. Let Him lavish you with acceptance and justification. Let Him be your source.

Can I pray with you?

Lord, only you know what we need. Only you know the deepest desires of our heart because you’ve placed them there. You promise to provide us peace that surpasses all understanding when we bring our worries and imperfections to you. Let us feel that peace, Lord. In this very moment, let us feel your Love. Let us feel your acceptance and your full redemption of our hearts. Let us feel your power that’s made perfect in our weakness. Lord, love on us. We want to reflect you, Lord, in all that we do. Cover us in You, Lord,and mark us for your purpose. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

A Blinded Travel Agent

After posting the blog about calling out our fears, I’ve been faced with a handful of opportunities to act on my own advice and address my fears and insecurities head-on. There have been everyday things I’ve struggled with like fearing my child will be struck by a car in the hectic grocery store parking lot, or wondering how all the bills will be paid this month, or having a minor freak-out when one of those inch worms that hangs from the trees ended up in my bra (that was very scary...and very gross). 

But truth be told, I’ve found that the one thing that I fear above everything else is people's perceptions of me. It may seem to be a minor concern or even a silly one, but in reality, it can consume me. As I was tempted to dwell on these feelings the other day, God provided such a clear picture of how my fears of what others think of me can keep me from living the abundant life He’s planned.

I tend to play “travel agent” for our family when it comes to booking flights, renting cars, and scheduling hotel stays. For some strange reason, I enjoy the “puzzle” of trying to fit everyone’s wish list of a vacation or trip into the boundaries of Expedia’s travel packages and the extra rewards earned on a credit card. For this particular opportunity to flex my travel agent muscles, my parents asked me to coordinate their long-awaited trip to visit my brother, Drew, who is stationed in Alaska with the U.S. Army. 

Initially, the trip started out as a simple two-week, roundtrip occasion. But it quickly morphed into a grandiose, Northeastern exploration tour including an Alaskan cruise, fly fishing, rock climbing, camping out, a three-day detour to Seattle, and a partridge in a pear tree. And then there were requests about bed sizes in the hotel. And preferences of proximity to specific landmarks. And convenient flight times. And my younger brother, Patrick, was then added to the vacation package to accompany my parents for part of the trip. This was now a customized travel experience like one I had never seen. Still, I was excited about the challenge. 

So, I scheduled time to plan the trip when both of our daughters were in preschool and I could think clearly. I had a solid 2.5 hours to knock this thing out. I made a checklist. And a cup of coffee. I compared pricing on different websites, read countless hotel reviews, played with various dates to minimize the cost of travel, considered layover times, calculated baggage fees, and coordinated everything to stay within budget. Once it was all scheduled and purchased, I felt so accomplished and proud of my skills. I was excited to share the details of the trip with everyone, so I sent out a mass text to the family with flight times, hotel names, rental car details, and overall schedule for the magnificent voyage they were taking to Anchorage, Alaska. I sat very impatiently, awaiting the replies of “thank you! that’s awesome! you’re so good at this! can’t wait!” But instead, I received the following reply from Drew:

“Awesome, except for the fact that I live in Fairbanks! Only a six-hour drive from Anchorage!” 

Oops. I mean, OOOOOOOOOOPS!! After all the planning, and all the preparation, and all that close attention to detail to make the trip perfect for my family, I forgot to consider the most significant point of the trip: the DESTINATION!

As I dramatically tossed myself on the bed and threw an oscar-worthy pity party, I felt this odd, untimely peace come over my heart, which is usually how I feel when God’s teaching me something. And then He made it all click: Look how easily plans can be deterred when you simply take your eyes off what’s most important. 

I was so consumed with trying to please my family and earn recognition for my efforts that I lost sight of an incredibly essential detail of the trip. Likewise, in everyday life, I can easily end up going the wrong direction when I don’t stay focused on Him. Maybe you can relate.

When we’re at the grocery store and our children are karate-chopping each other and launching groceries in the air like grenades, do we franticly mutter harsh threats under our breath to our little ones so they’ll hush quickly and save us from additional embarrassment? 

When we’re looking to buy clothes, do we opt for the ones within our budget, or do we splurge for the ones we can’t afford, justifying our purchase with the expectation of being complimented on our fashion sense?

When we have a heated argument with our spouse, do we build ourselves up and smear their name by sharing details and “innocently” venting to friends?

When we’re enjoying a special memory with our loved ones, do we try our best to truly soak up the precious moments, or do we pull out our phones and direct everyone into perfect poses to capture the scene that will earn the most comments and likes on Facebook?

If we continue to base our decisions on how others will perceive us, we’ll live in a perpetual state of ping-pong, bouncing between opinions and beliefs and creating unproductive chaos in our worlds. We can plan, prepare, rationalize, and justify all we want, but unless we keep our eyes fixed on God and seek wisdom in His Word, then our efforts will be futile; we will never be fruitful or prosperous. (Psalm 1:2-3)

Where are you looking for recognition today? From whom are you seeking validation of your worth? Who do you turn to first for guidance and wisdom? Let’s stop searching for answers on Facebook and Twitter. Let’s stop seeking a boost in self-confidence from our spouses and online shopping. Let’s stop molding our belief systems based on a collective blob of advice from our friends and family. Let’s turn our eyes to the one true, unfailing source of meaning and keep them there. He will never steer us wrong.

Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls! (Hebrews 12:2, The Message Bible)

Love always,

Megan

Duck Duck Goose: Calling Out Our Fears

Now that spring is in full force and the weather is perfect for outdoor outings, I’ve been taking our two daughters to feed the ducks and geese at a nearby pond. I’m honestly not sure if our feathered friends even like bread, but it’s an activity that easily occupies two squirmy toddlers for a good 45 minutes, so I’d like to think the ducks and geese see bread as a delicacy and we are kindly doing them a gourmet favor. 

Over the past few visits, our 3-year-old has become increasingly fearful of them. I should mention that there are small friendly ducks at the pond, but mostly, there are large, child-size, aggressive geese who like to dominate the bread distribution. Everything starts out smoothly with our bread buffet. We offer a few pieces to the polite, sweet, little obedient ducks who delicately nibble on our treats. But within a few moments, we are swarmed and surrounded by the geese beasts. Inevitably, these gargantuan geese get too close for comfort, and our daughter feels her bread is in jeopardy, so she screams to the sound of a high-pitched dog whistle and runs away. Well, as it turns out, geese enjoy chasing after mobile bread. So they waddle behind her trying to snatch the bread from her little hands. The whole point of the trip is the give the bread to the geese and ducks, but the very thing that we’re there for is overshadowed by the fear of getting close enough to get hurt.

As she runs from the geese, I chase after her with the other baby on my hip and the rest of the bread in my hand, trying to explain to her that if you run from them, they’ll keep chasing you and they’ll eventually either snatch your bread or surround you until you surrender their snack. But if you turn towards the geese, take a few steps in their direction, tell them to “back up,” they’ll calm down and mind their manners. After several timid attempts and puddles of tears, she eventually masters it and our trip to the pond is safe and friendly again.  

As I watched our sweet daughter running in fear from those geese, God offered a timely lesson with a calm whisper to my heart, “That’s the same thing you do with your fears, Megan.” 

Wow. Yep. That’s exactly what I do with my fears. I convince myself that I’m not capable of changing or overcoming, so I simply cling to whatever thought I had of success and let the “geese” of my world peck at me until there’s nothing left. 

Many times when God has placed a desire, calling, or task on my heart, I drown out the truth of His purpose for me with insecurities. I depend on the untruths of what I feel and assume rather than pressing into His truth which surpasses all understanding. Like our daughter, I’ve seen what happens when I get too close to the scary places. I know I can be hurt or embarrassed or become a failure. But God tells us in 2 Timothy 1:7 that He has “not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” He created us to step out to those potentially fearful places that expose our vulnerabilities so we are forced to recognize our dependence on Him to pull us through. 

And just like I taught our little one to step towards the geese and command them to “back up,” we have to “demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and [take] captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). So when we’re fearful and unsure, we have to turn our thoughts to God and what’s true in His scriptures. We have to directly address our insecurities with spoken truth, as silly as it may feel. “Back up, fears! Back up, insecurities! Back up, condemnations! My God is all-knowing and all-powerful. He has called me into this moment for a purpose so surely He will watch over my coming and going both now and forever!” (Psalm 121:8)

If we don’t address our fears head-on, we’re minimizing God’s power in our lives. And usually, the scariest places in our worlds are where He can use us the most. So where are you called today? What person have you been prompted to love unconditionally without being loved back? What secret of your past is haunting you that God is calling you to confess and hand over to Him? Whatever your “geese” are today, don’t let them chase you. Step towards them in confidence and face them head-on in Jesus’ name. I’ll be praying for your courage.

Love always,

Megan