After posting the blog about calling out our fears, I’ve been faced with a handful of opportunities to act on my own advice and address my fears and insecurities head-on. There have been everyday things I’ve struggled with like fearing my child will be struck by a car in the hectic grocery store parking lot, or wondering how all the bills will be paid this month, or having a minor freak-out when one of those inch worms that hangs from the trees ended up in my bra (that was very scary...and very gross).
But truth be told, I’ve found that the one thing that I fear above everything else is people's perceptions of me. It may seem to be a minor concern or even a silly one, but in reality, it can consume me. As I was tempted to dwell on these feelings the other day, God provided such a clear picture of how my fears of what others think of me can keep me from living the abundant life He’s planned.
I tend to play “travel agent” for our family when it comes to booking flights, renting cars, and scheduling hotel stays. For some strange reason, I enjoy the “puzzle” of trying to fit everyone’s wish list of a vacation or trip into the boundaries of Expedia’s travel packages and the extra rewards earned on a credit card. For this particular opportunity to flex my travel agent muscles, my parents asked me to coordinate their long-awaited trip to visit my brother, Drew, who is stationed in Alaska with the U.S. Army.
Initially, the trip started out as a simple two-week, roundtrip occasion. But it quickly morphed into a grandiose, Northeastern exploration tour including an Alaskan cruise, fly fishing, rock climbing, camping out, a three-day detour to Seattle, and a partridge in a pear tree. And then there were requests about bed sizes in the hotel. And preferences of proximity to specific landmarks. And convenient flight times. And my younger brother, Patrick, was then added to the vacation package to accompany my parents for part of the trip. This was now a customized travel experience like one I had never seen. Still, I was excited about the challenge.
So, I scheduled time to plan the trip when both of our daughters were in preschool and I could think clearly. I had a solid 2.5 hours to knock this thing out. I made a checklist. And a cup of coffee. I compared pricing on different websites, read countless hotel reviews, played with various dates to minimize the cost of travel, considered layover times, calculated baggage fees, and coordinated everything to stay within budget. Once it was all scheduled and purchased, I felt so accomplished and proud of my skills. I was excited to share the details of the trip with everyone, so I sent out a mass text to the family with flight times, hotel names, rental car details, and overall schedule for the magnificent voyage they were taking to Anchorage, Alaska. I sat very impatiently, awaiting the replies of “thank you! that’s awesome! you’re so good at this! can’t wait!” But instead, I received the following reply from Drew:
“Awesome, except for the fact that I live in Fairbanks! Only a six-hour drive from Anchorage!”
Oops. I mean, OOOOOOOOOOPS!! After all the planning, and all the preparation, and all that close attention to detail to make the trip perfect for my family, I forgot to consider the most significant point of the trip: the DESTINATION!
As I dramatically tossed myself on the bed and threw an oscar-worthy pity party, I felt this odd, untimely peace come over my heart, which is usually how I feel when God’s teaching me something. And then He made it all click: Look how easily plans can be deterred when you simply take your eyes off what’s most important.
I was so consumed with trying to please my family and earn recognition for my efforts that I lost sight of an incredibly essential detail of the trip. Likewise, in everyday life, I can easily end up going the wrong direction when I don’t stay focused on Him. Maybe you can relate.
When we’re at the grocery store and our children are karate-chopping each other and launching groceries in the air like grenades, do we franticly mutter harsh threats under our breath to our little ones so they’ll hush quickly and save us from additional embarrassment?
When we’re looking to buy clothes, do we opt for the ones within our budget, or do we splurge for the ones we can’t afford, justifying our purchase with the expectation of being complimented on our fashion sense?
When we have a heated argument with our spouse, do we build ourselves up and smear their name by sharing details and “innocently” venting to friends?
When we’re enjoying a special memory with our loved ones, do we try our best to truly soak up the precious moments, or do we pull out our phones and direct everyone into perfect poses to capture the scene that will earn the most comments and likes on Facebook?
If we continue to base our decisions on how others will perceive us, we’ll live in a perpetual state of ping-pong, bouncing between opinions and beliefs and creating unproductive chaos in our worlds. We can plan, prepare, rationalize, and justify all we want, but unless we keep our eyes fixed on God and seek wisdom in His Word, then our efforts will be futile; we will never be fruitful or prosperous. (Psalm 1:2-3)
Where are you looking for recognition today? From whom are you seeking validation of your worth? Who do you turn to first for guidance and wisdom? Let’s stop searching for answers on Facebook and Twitter. Let’s stop seeking a boost in self-confidence from our spouses and online shopping. Let’s stop molding our belief systems based on a collective blob of advice from our friends and family. Let’s turn our eyes to the one true, unfailing source of meaning and keep them there. He will never steer us wrong.
Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls! (Hebrews 12:2, The Message Bible)
Love always,
Megan
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